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I agree that ideally, coparenting wold be side by side. Best situation, married and living together. Everything else, less and less ideal. My ex and I communicate well. We're not adversarial. We're free to share concerns like she just shared. I want her relationship with our kids to succeed. It's what's best for them. But as you seem to understand, they are teens, wrapped in their own worlds. I think part of my ex's concerns, about becoming less relevant, are things that if she was here, she'd see it's pretty normal. In some ways, she gets more "quality time" than I do, even though there is a huge differential in the number of nights they spend with me. when they are with her, it's an event. With me, it's just another day. I will say, that our kids are pretty good kids. I hope it holds for another couple of years.

I am guessing that what they are really thinking is We have no agenda but to love, except we don't love certain people, as a matter of fact, we don't even like these people and consider them to be unworthy and vile.